By: Cairo Levias (they/them)
Shopping in general can be quite the task. Sometimes it can get overwhelming during your gender transition. There are so many factors to consider while shopping for feminine clothing. But the most important piece is that you get to do what feels good, and don’t have to do what doesn’t. Exploring your gender identity through fashion is a journey of its own. I also wrote these two posts that you might like:
- Transitioning with E? Here’s how to find the right bra
- Fluid fashion for gender non-conforming folks
As you evolve, you might get to know new parts of yourself. This includes your style. You may develop a passion for finding alternatives at thrift stores to recreate things you see in magazines, or creating iterations of looks you see on runways, or even the feminine-presenting people in your everyday life. Once gender euphoria begins to set in, it will have a lasting positive effect on your mental health, which is the ultimate goal.
Discovering your gender identity and your personal aesthetic
First things first: let’s ask some questions. Take some time to write, doodle, or daydream about your answers. Remember that you’re discovering your aesthetic and connecting with a vision that reflects who you are. There are no right or wrong answers, just what feels right to you in this moment.
- What makes you feel most comfortable?Â
- How do you want to show up in the world?Â
- Are you more interested in style, comfort, or utility?Â
These might be tough questions but are easily discoverable while you’re on this journey. Just offer yourself some grace and be open to trying whatever feels right in the moment. Like any new addition to life, this will be trial and error. Feel free to play with fashion, makeup, and other elements of your look.
Finding fashion that feels affirming to you
Let’s move onto aesthetics. Do you see yourself as someone that cares about style and how good an outfit looks, how put together it can be? Or are you more spontaneous, changing up your look depending on the day’s mood? There are a million different feminine aesthetics to look at, and mixing and matching different aspects of different aesthetics can be a pretty cool way into discovering more of who you are.Â
In the trend world, the aesthetics of what’s popular change for every season. If you want to have a more trendy look, it might be worth taking a look at what was seen on the runway. The outfits you see on Fashion Week runways can be a bit dramatic, but designers tend to add aspects to these clothes that can be subtle hints at what will be trending in six months. Wearable runway style would include details like mesh tops and dresses, ruched flower details, leg warmers, and unusual or eye-catching colors.Â
As you plan your wardrobe, you might build a moodboard or inspiration board on Pinterest to add images that are inspiring to you in terms of style. This way, you can search keywords based on the styles you like: “Cottage-core” “Minimalism clothing” “Current fashion trends” “Feminine utility-wear”, or even celebrities whose styles you enjoy. Some of mine are “Zoe Kravitz style” and “Tessa Thompson outfits.” I’m not gonna lie! I love these two, who specifically have unique and inspiring styles that look effortless.Â
Your budget for feeling beautiful and looking your best
I think the first steps are to figure out your budget for shopping and finding the right place to start your journey. Maybe finding a thrift store, secondhand store, or consignment shop close by will help you to start cheaper and have less of a commitment to certain pieces. Then, when you find some shapes and styles you like, you can begin investing in capsule pieces for your wardrobe.Â
A capsule piece is a piece of clothing that you love that feels like your signature style. For example, this might be a pair of amazing boots that you want to wear everyday that make you feel powerful. Capsule pieces don’t have to be expensive, but it is worth spending more money on them if you are going to wear them all the time. That way, they will last longer and be better quality.
What’s the difference between masculine and feminine clothing?
One of the major differences between shopping for masculine versus feminine clothing is about fit. Fit is a word that describes the way clothing hangs on the body. Masculine clothes tend to be more structured to enhance certain body characteristics that are inherently deemed masculine by society.Â
Feminine clothes tend to drape and flow on the body to enhance the certain body characteristics deemed feminine by society. Feminine clothing tends to be bold, out there, loud and memorable. Since feminine clothing is based a lot of times on the way it hangs on the body, you can find pieces that accentuate the parts of your body you love most. If you love your hips for example, maybe finding a skirt to wear with more of a cropped shirt might be something you add to your outfit inspiration. If you love your legs, a blouse with some short-shorts could be quite a good look. If you love your arms, try out a tube top or tank top.
The good news is, you don’t need to follow the rigidity in society’s definitions of gender. Beauty is forever subjective, and your beauty radiates when you feel good in your body and in your clothes.
Nervous to shop in person? Try your options online
If you’re experiencing anxiety about going into a store and trying on clothes (a valid anxiety and very real thing for people in our community), you might consider online shopping. There are some good stores online that are pretty cost effective, and also have great basics to build the foundation of your wardrobe.Â
ASOS is one of my favorite websites that tends to have pretty good prices for the quality of clothing. It is a good website for the basics, such as cute tanks and tops, well fitting pants with extended sizing, undergarments, and a lot of different aesthetics to choose from. There’s also always good finds on Amazon, which I know we don’t all support (with good reason), but there are some good and cost-effective basics on there as well.
These might sound basic, but just like any art form, you can add layers and different accent pieces to spice it up and add more of your personality. Jewelry, watches, bags, body jewelry, and other accessories will personalize your look. Gender euphoria is the goal, and it’s okay if you don’t experience that feeling instantly. It’s something that’s always coming and going—forever ephemeral.Â
Getting dressed in the morning can be an anxiety inducing task, but ultimately once you get the hang of it, it becomes a beautiful art experiment. Everyday, your style and gender presentation is something that’s allowed to change. Who do you want to be today? What’s going to make your body feel like home today? The best part of this journey is that you get to decide—no one else does. And remember when you stand in front of your closet, do what feels good, don’t do what doesn’t.
Cairo Levias (they/them) is a model, stylist, muse, and mystic. From walking the runways of New York Fashion Week to designing seasonal narratives for fashion brands, Cairo’s expansive vision extends beyond gender to life’s possibilities. They live with their husband and two perfect kitties.
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