Beyond Gender Dysphoria and Why Your Joy Matters
Claiming your identity is a powerful, political act in a culture that wants gender to be simple. The moment we begin to know who we are, we start to experience how binary gender is normalized. Blue for boys, pink for girls, and strictly segregated single-sex spaces are some of the first ways we experience the gender binary. For those of us who identify as nonbinary, transgender, genderfluid, gender non-conforming, agender, or genderqueer, the binary just doesn’t work. It doesn’t make sense to or for us.
Some people describe gender dysphoria as a sense of displacement. In our culture, anyone who doesn’t fit into standard gender categories might feel this way. Gender dysphoria can be a physical sensation or a psychological one. However, it’s not the only sign that our identity doesn’t square with binary gender.
What is Gender Dysphoria?
Transgender and gender nonconforming people have always existed. Even when the dominant culture didn’t want to acknowledge us, we took care of one another and survived. Gender dysphoria is a medical term that describes the feeling many of us have of not belonging. It is an expansive term that goes beyond the DSM-IV definition: “psychological distress that results from an incongruence between one’s sex assigned at birth and one’s gender identity.” This definition is often used to identify a transgender person. A diagnosis of gender dysphoria is sometimes required for many gender-affirming treatments, such as hormone therapy or surgery.
However, coming to gender with a negative definition doesn’t work for all of us. Why define yourself by what you are not, instead of what you are? Gender dysphoria can be dramatic in some people and subtle in others. (Some transgender people don’t ever experience gender dysphoria.) It can manifest as a feeling in your body: the sense that you’re wearing a costume, or that your body doesn’t “fit” correctly. It can be a feeling of distaste or disassociation from certain body parts. Gender dysphoria might cause you to dress in a particular way, to camouflage the parts of your body you can’t stand or to try to fit in with other people of your assigned or assumed gender. Em Murphy wrote that there are three kinds of gender dysphoria:
- Cognitive Dysphoria: In which a person’s mind/thoughts are against their gender identity, this is slightly less known, and can involve misgendering oneself or referencing their past self as a separate person
- Social Dysphoria: discomfort occurs when being perceived by others, this can be caused by being misgendered by others, and being titled incorrectly, and is extremely common in nonbinary folk
- Body Dysphoria: This one is the most well known, and has to do with discomfort with the person’s body, which can include a variety of things from height to genitals
Gender dysphoria can show up in unexpected ways in many areas of our lives. Constantly feeling like you have to blend in can create dysphoria. This psychological distress can also come from being called by a name or pronouns that don’t fit. Experiencing this level of constant stress for years can be very painful and lead to other mental health issues, substance use problems, and depression. The good news is that acknowledging our identity, working with providers who understand, and living authentically can resolve gender dysphoria. Just as our trans ancestors did, we adapt, love, and thrive.
What is Gender Euphoria?
There is so much emphasis on gender dysphoria that it’s easy to forget that gender euphoria is just as vital and present for us. If gender dysphoria is the dark cloud over our heads, gender euphoria is the sunbeams that warm our skin. It’s the rosy light inside us that we feel when we are seen and loved. It’s the invisible rainbow over our heads that glitters when we own our true selves. Gender euphoria is the psychological state of bliss and comfort that happens when our gender expression is aligned with our identity. (This is one of the reasons that Pride is so wonderful, especially for those of us who feel invisible or marginalized in other areas of our lives.)
Just like gender dysphoria, gender euphoria can manifest in three ways:
- Cognitive Euphoria: when a person’s mind fully accepts and loves their gender identity, with feelings of “I love myself” and “I am lovable as my authentic self”
- Social Euphoria: when others gender the person correctly, title them correctly, and call them by the right name, it sparks a powerful sense of happiness and belonging; especially important with family members, coworkers, and friends because it creates community
- Body Euphoria: An overall sense of comfort, ease, and enjoyment of the person’s body, including feeling “right sized,” in the right body, and free within this physical form
Some people say that gender euphoria, not gender dysphoria, should be the diagnostic requirement for transgender people. Not all of us experience the negative aspects of gender, but all of us know what it’s like to feel “right” in our bodies. All of us are free to try out different names, pronouns, gender expressions, and modifications on our journey. The “click” when something feels authentic is the best—truly, a sense of coming home.
Medical support might be part of that search for gender euphoria, and at Plume, we take your happiness seriously. While medical transition, hormone therapy, surgery, and other interventions may not solve all our problems, they should be available to anyone who wants to try them. (If you’re interested in a membership or want to learn about our evolving HRT Access Fund, there’s more info here.) There is no better feeling than waking up in a body that feels like it belongs to us and knowing that we will be respected, held, and cared for just the way we are. That’s euphoria. Everyone deserves to experience it, every single day.
