Let’s be real—most self-care advice out there doesn’t work for everyone, especially for us trans people. Bubble baths, yoga retreats, and skincare products might be nice for some, but they’re not practical or attainable for many of us. Worse, they don’t address the deeper need for stability and support in our lives.
So, what does self-care look like when you’re trans, navigating a world that isn’t always kind to you, and trying to stay afloat? It’s about care that makes life a little easier, a little safer, and a lot more sustainable. Here are some tips that go beyond the surface and meet you where you are.
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Create a Mini Emergency Fund
Even if it’s just $10 tucked away, having a small stash of cash for emergencies can make a world of difference. Whether it’s unexpected travel for a legal appointment, covering a week of groceries when your paycheck is delayed, or dealing with something as simple as needing a last-minute prescription refill, this fund can help ease your mind.
How to start: If saving feels overwhelming, try setting aside small amounts regularly, like a few dollars from each paycheck or even loose change from daily spending. Apps like Acorns or Chime can also help by rounding up your purchases to the nearest dollar and saving the difference.
The benefits: Knowing you have a financial cushion, no matter how small, reduces anxiety in tough times. It’s a safety net that’s there for you when things don’t go as planned—and let’s face it, life loves throwing curveballs.
Build a Safety Network
Self-care isn’t always a solo activity. Having people you can trust—whether they’re friends, chosen family, or an online community—can make life less isolating. Relationships like these don’t just offer emotional support; they can also provide practical help, such as having someone to watch your pets during surgery recovery or give you a ride to a doctor’s appointment.
Examples: Look for LGBTQ+ community groups, mutual aid networks, or supportive social media spaces. If you’re unsure where to start, try sites like Meetup for queer events or check out Reddit’s LGBTQ+ forums. And don’t underestimate the power of sending a “Hey, how are you?” message to someone you’ve been meaning to reconnect with.
The benefits: Having a support system reminds you that you’re not alone. These connections can also be anchors during hard times, offering a sense of belonging and a reminder that you matter.
Meal Prep for Your Future Self
Cooking is often framed as a chore, but it’s a powerful form of self-care. Prepping even one or two simple meals for the week ensures you have something nourishing when energy is low or when mental health dips make daily tasks feel impossible.
Ideas to get started: Focus on meals that are easy to make in bulk. A big pot of lentil soup, roasted veggies with rice, or a pasta bake can provide multiple meals. Keep it simple—you don’t need a gourmet recipe. Store leftovers in individual containers so they’re ready to grab, heat, and go.
The benefits: Meal prep saves you time, money, and decision fatigue. Plus, it ensures you’re fueling your body with something nutritious, which can have a positive ripple effect on your mood and energy levels.
Know Your Local Resources
From free clinics to food pantries, knowing what’s available in your area can be a huge help. Many cities, towns, and regions have LGBTQ+ organizations like Campaign for Southern Equality that offer everything from free legal help to hormone therapy assistance. Even if you don’t need these resources now, having the information on hand can make a stressful situation easier to navigate in the future.
How to find them: Search online for LGBTQ+ centers in your area or visit national directories like the one offered by the Advocates for Trans Equality. Keep a physical or digital list of resources, including their contact info and operating hours.
The benefits: Knowing where to turn in a pinch can save you valuable time and energy, allowing you to focus on resolving the issue rather than scrambling to find help.
Find Anchors in Your Day
When life feels chaotic, small routines can bring a sense of control. These don’t have to be big or time-consuming—it could be as simple as stretching for five minutes in the morning, journaling for a few minutes before bed, or sipping a cup of tea while watching the sunrise.
Examples: Start your day by writing down one thing you’re grateful for. End your day with a few minutes of deep breathing or listening to a favorite song. If routines feel intimidating, think of them as small acts of kindness for your future self.
The benefits: Routines can provide stability and a sense of normalcy, even when everything else feels uncertain. They’re a reminder that you have some control over your time and space.
Declutter to Reclaim Space
A messy space can feel overwhelming and suffocating. Spending just 15 minutes clearing out things you no longer need—old papers, clothes that don’t fit, or expired pantry items—can make your environment feel calmer and more affirming.
How to approach it: Set a timer for 15 minutes and focus on one small area, such as a drawer or bedside table. Donate or recycle what you can, and enjoy the mental clarity of less clutter.
The benefits: A cleaner space can improve focus, reduce stress, and make your home feel like a sanctuary rather than a source of chaos.
Set Boundaries Like a Boss
Saying no is one of the most underrated forms of self-care. Whether it’s declining a call from a toxic family member, turning down plans when you’re exhausted, or stepping back from an overcommitted schedule, protecting your time and energy is vital.
How to practice: Start small. If saying “no” feels hard, try phrases like, “I can’t right now, but thanks for thinking of me,” or, “Let me check my schedule and get back to you.” Practice in low-stakes situations to build confidence.
The benefits: Boundaries protect your well-being and free up energy for the people and activities that truly matter to you. They’re an act of self-respect.
Take Stock of Your Wins
It’s easy to focus on what’s not working, but celebrating your progress—even the tiny victories—can boost your resilience. Did you make that phone call you were dreading? Finally finish a project? Feed yourself today? That’s worth celebrating!
Try this: Keep a small notebook or notes app to jot down wins as they happen. On hard days, rereading them can remind you of your strength and growth.
The benefits: Focusing on wins shifts your perspective and builds self-confidence, helping you recognize how much you’ve accomplished.
Invest in Small Comforts That Pay Off
Not all self-care is free, but small investments can make a big difference over time. Think: a sturdy umbrella for rainy days, warm socks for winter, or a refillable water bottle to stay hydrated.
Examples: If you’re always cold, consider a heated blanket or thermal wear. If you’re prone to headaches, a reusable ice pack or blackout curtains might be a game-changer. These aren’t luxuries—they’re tools to make life smoother. If you have health insurance, some items can even be purchased with your flexible spending account (FSA), if you have one!
The benefits: These items can improve your daily quality of life and reduce unnecessary discomfort.
Take Breaks From the Doomscroll
Yes, it’s important to stay informed, but endless scrolling through bad news can drain your energy and hope. Give yourself permission to step away. Replace that time with something that brings joy—watch a funny video, listen to music, or call someone who makes you smile.
How to do it: Set limits on apps or designate specific times of the day to check the news. Use the freed-up time to engage in activities that recharge you.
The benefits: Taking breaks helps preserve your mental health and allows you to show up more effectively when action is needed.
At its core, self-care is about showing up for yourself in ways that matter. It’s less about luxury and more about laying the groundwork for a life where you feel safe, stable, and supported. If you’re trans, self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all concept. It’s about finding what works for you—and remembering that you’re always worth the effort.
