Questions about gender identity rarely have simple answers. More often, they begin as quiet thoughts, flickers of discomfort, or a lingering feeling that the way others see you doesn’t quite match how you see yourself. For people wondering if they might be transgender or nonbinary, the question “am I trans enough?” often becomes a loop—part curiosity, part fear, and often tangled up with guilt, confusion, and anxiety.
Alo Johnston, a licensed therapist who is also trans, has spent years working with clients in that uncertain space. His book, Am I Trans Enough? How to Overcome Your Doubts and Find Your Authentic Self serves as a gentle and practical guide through the messy terrain of gender questioning. Rather than offering a checklist or a fixed definition of what it means to be trans, the book offers something much more helpful: space to explore, tools to reflect, and permission to trust your own experience.
Let’s walk through some of the key ideas, breaking them down in simple terms and exploring what they really mean in everyday life.
Rethinking What It Means to Be “Trans Enough”
There’s no “correct” way to be transgender. Many people carry around a mental checklist they think they’re supposed to meet—hating your body, wanting to medically transition, knowing from a young age, or feeling constant dysphoria (the distress some people feel when their body doesn’t align with their gender identity).
These ideas often come from media stories, medical gatekeeping, or even trans communities themselves. And while they may describe some people’s experience, they are not universal elements of the trans experience.
The phrase “trans enough” usually reflects social pressure, not personal truth. It’s about comparison—measuring yourself against others, or an imagined ideal. But identity isn’t something you earn. It’s something you feel. If calling yourself trans or nonbinary helps things make more sense, that’s enough.
There’s also a shift here from thinking of gender as a strict “either-or”—male or female—to understanding it as a wide, flexible space. Some people move across the binary. Others find themselves somewhere in between. Some move in and out. And some find their gender outside the binary altogether. All of these experiences are valid. There’s no single or “better” path.
Understanding Where Doubt Comes From
There is a lot of pressure to “be 100% sure” you are trans, but that just isn’t always the case. Trans people are held to a much higher standard of clarity, whereas society is empathetic to others who make a choice and then later on make a different one (like divorce). Instead of seeing doubt as a red flag—proof that someone isn’t “really trans”—doubt is a normal part of questioning your gender.
There are many reasons people feel unsure about their gender:
- Internalized messages: If you’ve grown up hearing that being trans is wrong, rare, or must look a certain way, it’s easy to doubt yourself.
- Fear of regret: You might worry that you’ll make a big change and later wish you hadn’t.
- Pressure to be certain: Some people feel like they have to be 100% sure before they can take any steps, even small ones.
- Lack of role models: If you haven’t seen anyone like you living openly, it’s hard to imagine that your feelings are real.
- Worry about relationships: You might be afraid of losing people you care about if you come out.
Doubt, in many cases, is a kind of emotional self-protection. It can be a way to stay safe in a world that doesn’t always accept differences. Am I Trans Enough? can help you notice where that fear is coming from—and separate it from what’s actually true.
Instead of worrying about being 100% sure, you deserve to try things out without the pressure. A big part of gender exploration is just that—exploration. Instead of treating identity like a high-stakes decision, Am I Trans Enough? encourages a process of trying things out and seeing how they feel.
Here are some gentle ways to experiment with gender:
- Use different pronouns with trusted friends or in a journal.
- Try out a new name in online spaces.
- Wear clothes that feel affirming and notice what feels good.
- Imagine a day when you could fully express yourself—what would that look like?
There’s no rush. No one is grading you. You don’t have to declare any labels unless you want to. You don’t even have to know what you are. What matters is that you get to know yourself more deeply, honestly, and authentically.
This approach removes the idea that you have to be certain before you start exploring. In fact, it’s often through trying things that people find out what feels most like them.
Gender Euphoria: What Feels Good Matters Too
Most people have heard of gender dysphoria—the discomfort that can come from a mismatch between your body or assigned gender and how you feel inside. And yes, for many people, dysphoria is real and painful.
But Am I Trans Enough? reminds us of something just as important: gender euphoria. These are the moments of joy, peace, or comfort when your gender feels right.
That might include:
- Feeling seen when someone uses your correct pronouns.
- Loving how you look in a certain outfit.
- Noticing how good it feels to move or speak a certain way.
- Feeling relief after getting a haircut or binder that helps you feel more at home in your body.
While dysphoria focuses on what feels wrong, euphoria is about what feels right. And sometimes, it’s those positive moments that bring the most clarity. You might not feel a lot of pain around gender, but you might feel a lot of joy when things line up. That matters.
Euphoria can be a powerful guide. And for people who don’t fit into the medical definitions used to access care, this concept can be deeply validating. Wanting to feel good is enough of a reason to make changes.
Becoming Yourself, Not Someone New
The heart of Am I Trans Enough? is this: the goal isn’t to become someone entirely new. It’s to come home to yourself. To shed the layers of fear, pressure, or silence, and uncover what’s been your truth all along.
That process isn’t always smooth. It can involve grief, fear, and hard conversations. But it can also lead to more ease, more joy, and more connection.
Authenticity doesn’t mean always feeling confident. It means making choices that are honest. It means trusting your gut. It means allowing yourself to change in ways that feel right.
There’s no perfect moment to come out. There’s no right way to transition. What matters most is listening to your own experience—and building a life that fits who you are.
