Self-care looks different for all of us, but the importance of making it a priority remains the same. For transgender and nonbinary folks, experiencing feelings of grief, isolation, and transphobia from being out, or not yet out are common realities. Plume believes our trans and non-binary communities deserve to feel safe, comfortable, and confident in who they are; in mindbody, and spirit. You deserve to be fully authentic, expansive, and celebrated.Â
In collaboration with Alyson Stoner of Movement Genius, we have put together a range of stress, relaxation, and mindfulness techniques to help you relax and improve your well-being.
Fun fact: If you are a Plume member, you get 50% off Movement Genius annual memberships, 1 month access memberships, and top surgery recovery programs to support in your gender journey.
Table of Contents
Shaking off the stress
How can we move stressful energy out of the body? Let’s shake it out!Â
First, try starting with your hand. Think of the stress that you felt from the week, day, or future, and focus it all on this area. Wiggle and shake your hand as if you’re flicking it off. You can adjust the intensity from gentle to harder, whatever feels best for you.
Next, let that shake travel through the rest of the arm. Notice the increased mobility in your body the more you shake. This mobility helps us start releasing the tension we didn’t know we were holding on to.Â
Allow that shaking motion to move to your shoulders, back, and the rest of your body, releasing the tension trapped inside. Take some deep breaths and focus your attention inward, noticing any sensations you may be experiencing as you do this. This is a simple yet helpful technique to help release built-up stress or tension in the body.
Progressive muscle relaxation
Progressive muscle relaxation involves tightening and then releasing muscles. Progressive muscle relaxation can seem counterintuitive. Typically, we think that we want to release the stress and imagine being perfectly calm everywhere. In reality, sometimes we don’t even know where we are holding the stress! To find it, we’re actually going to tighten the muscles, notice how that stress feels in the body and the impact that it is having, and then completely release it from 100 to zero.
First, start to shrug your shoulders up, bending your arms at the elbow, keeping your elbows against your body, and bringing your hands into fists. Squeeze as hard as you can, but not to the point of pain. You might even notice that your body almost shakes a bit because it is holding so intensely. Try to isolate just these muscle groups, hold on as tightly as you can. Notice the pressure and the energy required to hold the stress all day long like this.
Now, completely release the tension from 100 to zero. One, two, three. Release everything and take a deep breath. Can you feel the difference?
Bilateral tapping
Bilateral tapping is a self-care tool used to provide a validating and self-soothing approach to uncomfortable emotions.
The concept involves tapping left and right, either on different areas of the body or on surfaces. You are encouraged to find a pace that matches your current emotions or anxiety levels. The tapping can be done on various body parts, such as crossing arms, tapping legs side to side, tapping feet left and right, or even tapping on surfaces in front of you.
By engaging in this rhythmic tapping, you activate both hemispheres of the brain—logic and emotion. The intention is to communicate to oneself, “Hey, I hear you. I feel you. This is uncomfortable.” This process aims to help you come back into your full integrated self by activating both logical and emotional aspects of the mind.
Over time, you can find a pace that matches your emotions, take deep breaths, and settle into a more relaxed state. The bilateral tapping exercise is designed to contribute to a sense of safety and ease by acknowledging and processing emotions through a physical, rhythmic activity.
Creating a safety resource
How can safety feel? Let’s explore this together.Â
First, feel free to close your eyes, look at the floor, or anything to create a sense of focus to fully experience the exercise. In your mind, make a list of things that make you feel safe. It can be real or totally imagined. A place, an item, a person, anything that makes you feel a sense of peace and comfort. Hone in on this symbol and call upon it whenever you need to feel this sense of security. Â
If you’re not used to inviting safety in, simply notice this experience and really honor it. Start to notice how safety feels in your body if you can. You can use your breath on the inhale as if you’re inviting in safety, breathe, and exhale it a little bit more. If you’re open to it, explore some images or sensations that are coming up. You notice a bit of a softening in some areas.
Another grounding technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 method. This method is designed to bring attention to the present moment, engage the senses, and create a sense of grounding during moments of stress or anxiety. It involves the following steps:
- 5 things you can see: Look around and identify five things in your environment. It could be anything – objects, colors, shapes.
- 4 things you can touch: Pay attention to the sensation of touch. Identify four things you can feel with your sense of touch. It might be the texture of an object or the feeling of the ground beneath your feet.
- 3 things you can hear: Listen for and acknowledge three distinct sounds in your surroundings. It could be the rustling of leaves, distant traffic, or any other audible stimuli.
- 2 things you can smell: Identify two scents or smells around you. This step often involves taking a moment to intentionally breathe in and notice the aromas in your environment.
- 1 thing you can taste: Acknowledge one taste, whether it’s the lingering flavor in your mouth or something you’re consuming.
