By: Cairo Levias (they/them)
Clothes are a wonderful tool to help you feel more like yourself. Although some people see self-appreciation as materialistic or egotistical, I think clothing that makes you feel handsome/beautiful ultimately has a very positive effect on mental health as a whole. Finding gender-affirming clothing when you’re on the journey to feeling more masculine can be a daunting task. If this is where you are in your gender transition, welcome! I also wrote these two posts that you might like:
Shopping in general can create anxieties we didn’t know were there. So, here are some helpful tips that should support you as you discover and evolve an aesthetic that feels affirming to you.
When getting dressed in the morning can feel like a whole new layer added to your gender journey, it’s good to have options. Questions like, “Who do I want to be today? How do I want to express my gender today?” are really big. Breaking it down can feel more manageable. Gender is a massive concept to think about, especially if you’re just looking for a new pair of shoes. Rather than focus on the big picture, let yourself think small. Then, you will have some good base layers of a look to begin with before you start adding accessories.
Questioning your masculine personal expression
As you’re searching for masculine clothing, there are a lot of factors to think about. Take some time to write, doodle, or daydream about your answers to these questions. Remember that you’re discovering your aesthetic and connecting with a vision that reflects who you are.
- Who do you want to be when you walk into the world?
- What makes you feel most comfortable based on what you do day-to-day?
- What are your hobbies?
- How do you want to adorn your body in a visual depiction of how you feel on the inside?
Tough questions, yes. But the answers are discoverable for your journey. The best way to go about this process is like finding your favorite food recipes or trying new medications or anything where trial and error is necessary. There are no right or wrong answers, just what feels right to you in this moment.
Defining a budget that works for your new wardrobe
I think the first step to your new look is to figure out your budget for shopping. This will help you find the right place to start your journey. Maybe finding a thrift store, secondhand store, or consignment shop close by will help you to start cheaper. Spending less as you’re playing with your style can help you have less of a commitment to certain pieces. Then, when you find some shapes and styles you like you can begin investing in capsule pieces for your wardrobe.
A capsule piece is a piece of clothing that you love that feels like your signature style. For example, this might be a stunning jacket or cute cap that you want to wear everyday. Capsule pieces don’t have to be expensive, but it is worth spending more money on them if you are going to wear them all the time. That way, they will last longer and be better quality.
High fashion, luxury fashion, and name brand style aren’t available to everyone. That’s fine, and it doesn’t have to impact you. If you are on a lower budget and know how to shop, you will look amazing no matter how little you spend. You may develop a passion for finding alternatives at thrift stores to recreate things you see in magazines, or creating iterations of looks you see on runways, or even the masculine-presenting people in your everyday life.
Basics for masculine fashion
Starting simple will help with the overwhelm of trying to build something from the ground up. Some basic pieces are necessary for any wardrobe, especially for a more masculine-leaning look. Ideally, what you want to do is get high quality basics that can stay in your wardrobe forever. Those durable, well-made staples are clothes you can continue to wear as statement pieces as you build your masculine wardrobe.
The three most essential pieces in a masculine wardrobe are:
- A nice button down, which is a very strong base for a number of looks
- A good pair of trousers
A quality pair of denim jeans
When you are shopping for these basic pieces, stay close to your comfort zone. Otherwise, you might end up with something you would never wear. Start with what you know to be true. For example, if you feel better wearing a light wash denim, get the masc version of the ones you already have in your closet. When you’re shopping, you may want to make a list of what you already have as well as the items you like.
Also, it is important to honor your gender expression even while just chilling at home. Find a nice pair of sweats and loungewear pieces and add them to your closet. It’s important to feel affirmed everywhere we are, not just when we know people will be around and seeing how we look. Loving what you see is the most important piece of finding what you want to wear.
The key to dressing in a more affirming style
One thing I find so amazing about masculine clothing is that in the fashion world it’s based mostly on silhouettes and shapes. A masculine look is not as much about the brand or patterns, which is also great. You can find masculine clothing in most brands and in colors you like.
Masculine clothing tends to be more square and broad, as opposed to feminine clothing which is loose or flowing. Wearing sharper silhouettes can help with gender euphoria, because a sharper shape can create the illusion of a masculine build.
If you want to look and feel masculine, try on hefty and thick t-shirts. These are good not just for the shape or size of the shoulder build and handsome fit, but the actual thickness of the fabric. Wearing a heavier shirt might help you feel comfortable when you’re wearing a binder or using other chest-binding techniques. Well-fitting pants can keep you comfortable when packing. Scarves, watches, jewelry, and hats can help you show off your masculine style with a pop of color, exciting fabric, some metal or bling, or an accessory that is meaningful to you.
Where to find masculine clothing and build your style
If you’re struggling with ideas, that can be a hard place to be. Stuck? Let’s start with research. Pinterest is a tool that many people use to build idea boards and mood boards. You can use it to design your look, too. This ranges from haute couture to basic day-to-day wear.
For example, maybe you work in retail where you need to look professional but you still want to express your own sense of style. When building your own inspiration board, you might search for keywords for specific items to incorporate: “trendy professional wear.” I personally have a Pinterest board for everything—outfits, hair goals, my creative portfolio, everything! I find that adding search terms for things you can see and visualize will help with any category of style, not just clothes.
Sometimes, your aesthetic can touch multiple parts of your life at once. If one of your hobbies is hiking, there might be some local outdoor clothing stores selling high quality pieces for your hiking adventures or just casual hangouts. Search keywords like “fashionable hiking gear” and explore what you like.
Don’t feel like you need to deny yourself something that feels affirming just because it isn’t reflective of your life. If you work in an office but want to look as masculine as a manual laborer, you’ll need tough-built, sturdy clothes. (Some popular options right now are Carhartt, Dickies, or Ben Davis pants and shirts. Also, Costco is the unsung hero of work wear and functional fits, so check them out if you have a membership.) While you might find these types of clothes at the outdoor supply, they can also turn up at thrift stores and on sales racks. You are allowed to wear whatever you want, even if you don’t work as a painter or construction worker. Rugged clothes are designed as really good basic pieces that a lot of people wear for the style as well. If you find that you gravitate toward softer fabric, cozy sweaters, or corduroy—go for it. Your clothes should affirm your gender first.
There are a million ways to go about discovering your style, and none of them are wrong. As you explore, know that trial and error will be a part of it. The biggest message is to do what feels good, and don’t do what doesn’t. You will find the look that affirms your gender identity and makes you feel strong, powerful, handsome, and comfortable.
Cairo Levias (they/them) is a model, stylist, muse, and mystic. From walking the runways of New York Fashion Week to designing seasonal narratives for fashion brands, Cairo’s expansive vision extends beyond gender to life’s possibilities. They live with their husband and two perfect kitties.
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