By: William Cuthbert (he/they)
For many transmasc folks, finally being able to see the faint shadow of a beard or mustache is an intense emotional moment. Our bodies are affirming what we’ve often known to be true for a long time. Having facial hair means that when people look at us, they see masculinity, rather than femininity. Since people often assume someone’s gender based on how they look, growing facial hair can lead to more correct assumptions about who we are.
For some people, their transition goal is the everyday comfort of being seen as masc. This is why wanting a mustache or beard, and wanting to have the experience of masculine grooming, can be key to feeling seen in our transgender identities. Having facial hair can create many spontaneous moments of gender euphoria.
A quick caveat: depending on your hair texture, how curly your facial hair is, and your skin type, shaving may not be the best hair removal option for you. Please use your best judgment before you pick up your razor! Black transmasculine people and other folks with super-curly hair need to be extra-careful when attempting to shave. Because of their hair texture, people with very curly facial hair are at higher risk for ingrown hairs and even keloid scarring. Electrolysis, facial waxing, and laser hair removal are all safer options.
Does grooming your facial hair feel affirming or is it a chore?
If you’re enby or gender non-conforming (GNC) in any way, you might want as clean and close a shave as possible. I get this—it doesn’t feel good to be gendered “male” or “female” offhand, when that’s not your identity. Social situations where you’re misgendered aren’t always ideal.
As affirming as facial hair can be to a trans man, it’s understandable if you’re uncomfortable with being pushed into a box. (Some trans guys are fluid, or prefer to have a less traditionally male appearance. That’s completely fine. All kinds of men have different relationships with their body and facial hair, even cis guys.) Nonbinary and gender non-conforming people might also feel like facial hair is an unwelcome sign of masculinity. Being able to shave can actually help. For me, coming out to strangers can feel endlessly exhausting. Using a few grooming guidelines has helped me take control of how I appear to the world.
The basics of shaving your facial hair
If you’re lucky enough to have someone in your life to show you how to shave, that’s great. But if you need help, or a refresher to know you’re being as kind to your skin as you can, this article is here to get you started.
Your first time shaving your face might feel surprisingly different. Even if you’ve ever shaved your legs or underarms, this is a whole new task. It can be challenging to work a razor around so many tricky nooks on your face and neck.
You’ll probably find it helpful if you take a hot bath or shower before shaving. The heat and steam open your pores. Don’t skip this part, as a good skincare routine is important for preventing the pores getting clogged by oil or dirt, or even the hairs themselves. If you don’t have access to a shower, you can also use a warm washcloth or warm, wet towel to wipe your face. Hold the damp cloth against your face for about one minute before you apply shaving cream.
Using an exfoliating face wash on the regular will keep your skin clearer and discourage ingrown hairs. (An ingrown hair is what happens when the end of a hair curls back toward your skin. This is caused by shaving, waxing, or forgetting to exfoliate. It can cause painful lumps that look like acne.) If you want to encourage your beard or mustache to come in more quickly, exfoliating has the bonus effect of helping hair grow by removing dead skin cells from around each follicle.
By the time you’ve bathed and cleansed, the warm water and steam will have softened your facial hair. This helps the blade to glide more easily as you shave, reducing the chance of razor burn and redness. There are some who argue that cold water gives better results for a close shave. Cold temperatures make your hair stay stiff and upright, allowing for a closer shave. You might want to experiment with both to see which method works best for you. Either way, splashing cold water on your face at the end of a shave is good for closing your pores against impurities.
Troubleshooting common facial shaving challenges
With your skin prepped and products picked out, time for the tricky part. Everyone’s facial features are different, which equals infinite methods for shaving hard to reach areas. Here are a few suggestions to make shaving your face easier:
- Shamelessly make faces in your mirror. This will help you understand the actual shape of your face. It will also help you get used to moving your mouth, cheeks, and jaw around to shave hard-to-reach areas.
- Snug skin means a smoother shave. To avoid snagging your skin with your razor, pull the skin on your cheeks, under your nose smooth as you shave. You can pull these areas taut with your hand or facial muscles to get the job done.
- Tip your head back! The jawline can be a problem zone for accidental cuts. Tipping your chin up for a better view and the skin stretching effect often works well here.
It’ll be tempting to go over the same areas multiple times, not wanting to miss lighter hairs that can’t decide if they’re peach fuzz or stubble. Try not to do this. As a general rule, shaving the same place more than twice is risky and can cause skin irritation. A gentle touch-up here and there is usually fine, but firmer razor strokes should be kept to a minimum. If you need to go over an area again, make sure you’re loading back up on shaving foam in between.
Choosing razors, grooming products, and scents
Other ways you can enjoy experimenting are with your razor and products like shaving foam and aftershave. Try a few different razors. Generic-brand razors are usually just as good as name-brand options. If you want to spend less money on razors, you might look for a razor with replaceable blades so you’re only buying new blade cartridges instead of a whole new razor. You might also consider subscribing to a razor delivery service, which sends a monthly package of shaving supplies.
Everyone’s skin and hair are different. And like I said, shaving your face is not like shaving your legs! Your facial skin might respond better to a single bladed safety razor than multiple blades, which can sometimes trap more debris as you shave. If your facial hair is super-thick, you might find that you need multiple blades. Different shaving creams, gels, or foams for sensitive skin can be a smart move for anyone getting used to regular shaving. Unscented and “sensitive” options are less likely to irritate your skin. They also create more of a buffer between the razor and your skin, so you don’t accidentally nick yourself.
There’s a world of gender-affirming fragrances out there too, so don’t feel pressed to go for a standard manly musk. Many of the products marketed to women (with pink labels!) are actually better quality than the ones marketed to men. If you have very sensitive skin, pick an unscented, ultra-thick shaving gel and go slowly. As your skin gets used to shaving, you can eventually switch to a shaving cream—maybe even one with a masculine aftershave scent.
Experimenting with different techniques and products will help you land on a combination that’s right for you in time. Don’t worry about the inevitable missed hairs and bad skin days. You and your skin will both get used to the process. Practicing your new skills is worth it. The first time you see your fresh-shaven face, it can help affirm your style, and with it your identity.
As the largest provider of gender-affirming care for the trans and nonbinary community, Plume is committed to providing information about many types of information, including questions about hormones like estrogen and testosterone, gender transitioning tips and experiences, and guidance on social transition and self care.
While we strive to include a diverse range of voices and expertise, not everything will be for every person. Each individual’s experience is unique, and the information Plume provides is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Always first seek the advice of your primary and/or specialist physician, the Plume Care Team, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition, your mental health and emotional needs, or your health care needs regarding gender-affirming hormone therapy. If you are experiencing an emergency, including a mental health crisis, call 911 or reach out to Trans LifeLine.
