What does genderfluid gender transition look and feel like? Your individual genderfluid transition might have a specific aesthetic. As you transition, you may seek to break down gender binaries. Some genderfluid folks aim for more gender-ambiguous looks. However, this can be challenging for those of us who move between or beyond binary identities. Often, the idea of a finite, finish line to the transition encourages a binary that can be quite confusing if you identify as genderfluid.
Changes in gender presentation like male-to-female (MTF) or female-to-male (FTM) are often equated with identities like “trans woman” and “trans man.” However, as a genderfluid person, your identity may not always align with binary ideas of gender. Your sense of gender euphoria, which the the sense of being comfortable in your body, might not be linked to a particular gender presentation.
As a genderfluid person, your transition goals may not be either MTF or FTM, but an embodiment of both or neither. This preference may change depending on your social context, your personal mood, body dysmorphia, or an interrelated mix of all three.
Gender fluidity and social context
Genderfluid identity is very personal and individual. That might be true for your gender presentation, which is the way you look and behave, as well as your identity. For example, at times you might not mind being viewed as your assigned sex at birth. You might not mind being gendered in a particular way, while this may bother you at other times. For instance, my sister and I often use the pronouns associated with our assigned sex at birth, even though we both inhabit nonbinary identities these days. The “she/her” pronouns feel acceptable in this social context because they are unconsciously familiarity.
Sometimes, the pronouns aren’t what matter, but the bond shared between you and the other person. This preference can change depending on your relationship with the other person, what social context they address you in, and other factors.
On the other hand, context really matters for me. For example, I don’t mind if my sister calls me by feminine pronouns. However, if a stranger at the supermarket uses “she/her” pronouns for me, that action may feel like misgendering.
Contextual preferences like this can make it confusing to understand what your transition goals are, difficult to set clear boundaries and rules for friends, acquaintances, and loved ones, and difficult to validate yourself and move forward in your transition as a genderfluid person. Taking time to explore your identity and how you best feel affirmed will help you decide how you want to be seen and respected.
Finding your physical comfort zone during your genderfluid transition
Genderfluid people do not have a clearly defined or traditional aesthetic. Because our identities are fluid, there is no “ideal” in gender presentation to move toward. (Frankly, I believe that no one has a clear ideal.) But for those of us who are genderfluid, it can be especially difficult to know what you want yourself to look or be like.
Perhaps your genderfluid transition does not include top surgery, bottom surgery, and gender-affirming hormone therapy (GAHT, sometimes also called hormone replacement therapy or HRT). Or maybe it does! Some people want bottom surgery but not top surgery. Other people want facial feminization surgery (FFS) to change the way their face looks. Maybe you only want to microdose hormones, so your transition is more subtle. Or maybe you merely want to move through gender categories by chest binding, changing your mode of dress, or lowering/raising the pitch of your voice on certain days—but not always.
Transitioning as a genderfluid person means you might not always take the same path as someone who identifies as a trans man (sometimes called FTM) or trans woman (sometimes called MTF). The goal to “pass” as cisgender may be even less important to you, as a genderfluid person.
Everyone’s transition and feelings around gender identity are different. If you are genderfluid and your feelings change constantly, you may be overwhelmed by the possibilities during your transition. Given the lack of visibility on people who exist outside gender binaries, your journey may be totally unique. With that in mind, take pride in venturing where no one else has gone before. Don’t feel pressured to conform, though it may feel scary and impossible at first.
Can genderfluid people experience gender dysphoria?
Anyone can experience gender dysphoria, including genderfluid people. Often, trans people feel gender dysphoria due to a disconnection between their gender identity and their sex assigned at birth. Sometimes, gender dysphoria is not always obvious or uniform in its presentation of symptoms, which can be mental, physical, and social. Some days, it may seem like preexisting mental health conditions, a bad day, and other physical circumstances are the culprit of your feelings.
Gender dysphoria can be a difficult experience to navigate. It is an uncomfortable, painful, or awkward feeling. Gender dysphoria can appear in many different ways. For instance, you may feel a slight twinge of discomfort when someone refers to you as a “boy” or a “girl.” Other gendered terms may also feel uncomfortable, such as “sister” or “father.”
Over time, gender dysphoria can affect your self-image, relationships, and overall health. For example, I was always gender non-conforming growing up. I experienced gender dysphoria, but didn’t recognize or understand what I was experiencing until much later in life. Because I didn’t understand my gender dysphoria, I believed that it was related to an illness. For me, gender dysphoria felt like sickness, isolation, fear and social anxiety. This article describes three common symptoms or signs of gender dysphoria.
Your one-of-a-kind genderfluid transition
Being genderfluid can make figuring out your long-term transition goals and others’ perceptions of your body tricky. Rather than look for black-and-white solutions, you might need to play with your gender expression. You can take time to learn what works for you.
As a genderfluid person, your transition goals may include a blend of transition factors—such as top surgery, testosterone, and trying out new styles of expression. Many genderfluid people take hormones, T-blockers, and other gender-affirming medications to support their transitions. Other people prefer using hormones but not surgeries. Other folks want gender-affirming surgery but do not use gender-affirming hormones.
All of these types of transitions are valid. (And Plume supports all of them!) If you are interested in learning more about how Plume can help you during your transition, reach out for a consultation!
Genderfluid transition and the rainbow of expressions
As a genderfluid person, your transition might not fit in with traditional ideas of masculinity or femininity. You may feel that you do not fit in, even in “nonbinary” spaces. I sometimes feel this way since I do not experience gender as an unchanging goal, but an ever-changing state.
In my transition, I’ve learned that the most important thing is to listen to yourself. Rather than seeking a resounding answer of “Yes, I like this!” or “No, I didn’t like that!” all of the time, I have learned that I can lean into the rainbow of gender expressions and gender-affirming care options. It’s okay to say “maybe,” too. Now, I weigh the pros and cons of what might be gender-affirming for me. I move forward once I know what is right for me—whatever that may look like.
You have all the time in the world to discover who you truly are, so don’t sweat it. You’ll get where you need to be!
Aleena Ortiz (he/she/they) is an independent world traveler, freelance writer, and contract book reviewer at Foreword Magazine. They obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Religion with a focus on Buddhism, Daoism, and Shintō at Reed College in May 2021. Eager to explore fictive worlds with respect to cultural sensitivity and the complexities of human emotion, he has published over 1 million words online over the last decade. Aleena strives to create space for nuanced understanding of historically underrepresented groups through her analyses of media and in fiction writing.
As the largest provider of gender-affirming care for the trans and nonbinary community, Plume is committed to providing information about many types of information, including questions about hormones like estrogen and testosterone, gender transitioning tips and experiences, and guidance on social transition and self care.
While we strive to include a diverse range of voices and expertise, not everything will be for every person. Each individual’s experience is unique, and the information Plume provides is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Always first seek the advice of your primary and/or specialist physician, the Plume Care Team, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition, your mental health and emotional needs, or your health care needs regarding gender-affirming hormone therapy. If you are experiencing an emergency, including a mental health crisis, call 911 or reach out to Trans LifeLine.
